I shouldn't

I know I shouldn't be falling in love. Or maybe I already am in love.

She Makes.

She makes me feel the same way you did, and I'm positive would still do if I ever saw you again.

My weekend's are so plain and boring unless I talk to her. She makes the weekend better... But nowadays it's awkward, because I think I might've messed up and she doesn't talk to me much on the weekends.

During the weekday... She's the highlight of my day (: I look forward to seeing her when I do. No matter what happens, seeing her just makes me feel better inside.

And I'm afraid... Because I don't want my relationship with her to turn out like the one we have... It's scary... It makes me cry...

I Don't Exactly Know Who I Am, a Horrible Reflective

It's not a very good essay but It's one I wrote today... I feel that the message that is supposed to come across the most are the three quotes. At the Beginning, Middle and End.


Jimmy Bui
Sharon Townsend
English – 6th
17 September 2009


I Don’t Exactly Know Who I Am


“Never Lose Sight of Yourself in the Face of Others”
~ Anonymous


A Personal Narrative about me would be incredibly difficult to write. It’s not that I’m a bad writer or anything of the sort. It’s hard to because of my personality flaw. In order for me to be happy, the most effective way for me to be happy, is to make other people happy. Therefore, I’m just slightly bit different with each person I interact with, a small façade it may be but a mask is a mask.

At “Home,” the place where people are supposed to show their true selves is the place where I am least myself. I seclude myself in the comforts of my bedroom, leaving only for the necessities or to separate myself further from the world by walking. Conversing with my family at home is nearly non-existent. The only person I feel comfortable enough to talk to is my younger brother, Alex.

When I am with my best friend, Dakota, the side of me that enjoys intellectual conversations and loves playing video games is most apparent. You’d probably see us sitting in the living room couch in front of the TV with Xbox 360 controllers in our hands in a heated game of Halo 3. And while we’re playing, we might be talking about the topic of life or relationships. We could just about talk about anything and turn it into a complex conversation with references pulled from books, Google/Wikipedia, or even knowledge gathered over the years. More often than not, we’d be in a semi-heated talk about how I am too much of a doormat. Complaining about how I’m always trying to please everyone, going out of my way, just to make someone’s day a little better. His most famous line would be,

“Jimmy. / Everyone deserves to be happy and most of all you. / All the happiness you give to the world and there’s never any left for you. /”
~ Dakota Reynolds

At school I am the strong one, the guy who does his own thing. One instance, I’ll be happy with a group of people. Another, I’ll be talking one on one about someone’s problem. Another, I am the one who shows. Then there are the instances where, I feel like I don’t belong in this place, I am too different. But no one sees me in those instances because I follow the code, “A King must never let his people see him cry.”

But who am I really? I'm one of those guys. Who at the end of the day. Will be crying themselves to sleep.


“Some people try too hard to make others around them happy that at the end of the day… There isn't any left for them.”
~ Anonymous

The First Day of School

Well, it's time to start my blog updating (:

First Off, My Schedule in order

AP Music Theory
Latin IV AP
AP Government
A-Lunch
Pals
Symphonic Band
Honors English
American Sign Language I
Marching Band

Now my school day.

~ AP Music Theory ~

Music Theory today was most definitely quite the experience.

The only homework we ever have is "Listen to Music"

We have to sing, analyze music, write music!!!

Today we pretty much did what every class does on the first day... Papers and hand outs O: But we did get to listen to music, and then do a little worksheet on them. We listened to "Canon in D" and then "Taco Bell Canon" which is essentially an A Capella version of "Canon in D"

We also have two field trips for the year. The first one, we get to see the Dallas Symphony Orchestra Dress Rehearsal and the second is an Opera Dress Rehearsal... Fun fun fun... And apparently I have to take the AP exam since it's being paid for :\

~ Latin IV AP ~

Best Class Ever. (: We have over an hour of it for the next two days. We start translating tomorrow I suppose... lol

Molly and Jess visited, I was quite happy.

~ AP Government ~

Talk about a boring class. At least it was when I walked in, I did my usual Class Greeting and No One... I mean no one said a single thing... Oh but when Brandon Kalm comes in, everyone's excited... Lol Anywho, third AP class of the day. And it's the first one with a text book. Not to bad really, I like the teacher. She has a good vibe, and the Reading Assignments are at least reasonable :D

~ Lunch ~

Lunch... Was a disappointment... I was supposed to go out to lunch with Jessi, Bob's GF since she know anyone in A Lunch, and I stood where I told her to meet for like 15 minutes with a no show... Kinda a boring lunch, but now I'm eating with Maggi, Sarah... and... I don't know, I need to figure out his name.

~ Pals ~

Pals... Wow... What a class.. Well... we didn't do much except the obligatory "Getting to know each other Activities" and we picked our Committees... I'm in Photography and Scrapbooking which means I get to work with the Yearbook from time to time... And guess what? Fundraising Starts this Saturday at the football game... Yay for Dr. Pepper Cherry... O.o

~ Symphonic Band ~

Wow... Can the first day get any lamer? Yes, why yes it can... BAND EVEN FELL UNDER THE READ THE HANDBOOK AND HANDOUTS SPELL...

~ English IV H ~

3rd best class of the day. We got ZERO hand outs. And what's even better? We got a free notebook for our Writer's Notebooks :D Not that I enjoy them, but I always love "Stationary" items (: But this year the Entries will be much easier. She said they had to be long enough to finish the thought, so it can be short or long :D

~ American Sign Language I ~

2nd Favorite Class. I mean it's a foreign language, why isn't it one of my favorites!

Lol, The teacher didn't realize I was in Latin as well, since they share classrooms, until I took my Lion from the desk XD

We learn'd the ASL Survival Signs and then we learned the Alphabet.. Which was fun... A lot of new faces in the class as well (:

~ Marching Band ~

Oooh boy my favorite part of the day. /sarcasm
It's not really my favorite part of the day really... Kinda... I don't know what to call it, but it was horrible...

My left eye, was going all funky. Like for serious. It was straining against itself for no reason. It felt like it was shrinking and then returning to it's size all inside my eye socket... Imagine if you will. A... Hmm... A Stress Ball. It was pushing against itself and all.. It was horrible. Had to get an ice pack... And then I was told it was turning like really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really Red... (On a note, whenever you see my repeat something many times... I really type it out... Yeah, sometimes I type out a single word one hundred times. XD)

Well that's my day really...

Another post on my opinions, at least more in depth with highlights and what nots.

Songs that Spoke to Me

silky heart
Vocals: Horie Yui
Lyrics: Satomi
Composition: Fujisue Miki
Arrangement: Kawaguchi Keita
My Silky Love, all the while, for 24 hours
My Silky Love, every time when I think of you
My Silky Love, my irritating feelings
My Silky Love, simply overflow
Even though it’s easy to say ‘I love you’
When you come in front of me
My characteristics arise and interfere with me
If it’s the usual, I can go on boldly
Even though that’s my personality
No matter how hard I try, I can’t tear down the wall
I want you to realize…my feelings
So I always send a gaze
Of, “I really love you,” at you
With my greatest courage!
When I met you, I finally noticed
My flimsy silky heart
Even if I was awkward at love
The scar of romance that I almost forgot about
Suddenly started to hurt with a twinge
If I don’t say ‘I love you’ like myself
Someday…I’ll become weaker than I am now
If I say ‘I love you’, then I can be at ease
The truth is, even though I know that
When I sound it out, you seem to leave me
I wonder, what do you think
Of me?
At our current distance we’re merely friends, right?
I just might be whitewashing it
But I don’t want to get hurt, it’s just that alone…
Or so I persuaded myself
And I just ran away
If my flimsy silky heart
Gets hurt this time, then I’m sure
I won’t be able to love anyone ever again
The splitting sound that echoes in my chest
Is at the bottom of my memories, I’m sure
The sewing kit that I forgot to put away
On that day should be around somewhere…
All the while, for 24 hours
My Silky Love, every time when I think of you
My Silky Love, my irritating feelings
My Silky Love, simply overflow
My Silky Love, all the while, for 24 hours
My Silky Love, every time when I think of you
My Silky Love, my irritating feelings
My Silky Love, simply overflow
When I met you, I finally noticed
My flimsy silky heart
Even if I was awkward at love
Even if I were to pretend to be strong on purpose
To hide my weaknesses, I’m sure
That I’ll properly tell you my feelings
And ‘I love you’ like myself someday


Orange
Vocals: Kugimiya Rie, Horie Yui, Kitamura Eri as Aisaka Taiga, Kushieda Minori, Kawashima Ami
Lyrics: Watanabe Akiko
Composition: Funta3
Arrangement: Hashimoto Yukari
On a sleepless night
I sigh all alone
How’s everyone?
I feel kind of lonely
That’s not like me
So stop laughing
It’s just that I don’t know
My true self
Into the broad earth, a single seed
Extended its roots
And bore fruit that was still unripe
The fruit wants to hurry up
And turn orange-colored
Basking in your light
My ideals and dreams only expand
Notice me, hey
I tried to eat
An orange today, too
But it was still sour and I cried
Because it’s unlike me to leave any behind
I ate it all
I loved it; I felt like crying
I loved it; I loved it
Even if they’re similar, they’re different
Mandarins and oranges
Friends and lovers
And our 2 hearts, too
I didn’t want to get hurt
So I fled
When I did that, not even light
Would shine upon me
They’re miracles, right?
Encounters and love
Seeds and buds
Even for the fruit that was still unripe
The color orange makes me recall
The sunset glow that I saw
On that day
It seemed as if our 2 shadows
Held hands together
I wondered if the oranges
Would turn sweet someday
Or would they wither?
I didn’t want to learn of my future
So I ate it all
It was sour…
I loved it, but I felt like crying
I loved it, so I felt like crying
The fruit wants to hurry up
And turn orange-colored
Basking in your light
My ideals and dreams only expand
Notice me, hey
I tried to eat
An orange today, too
But again, it was sour and I cried
Because it’s unlike me to leave any behind
I ate it all; I loved it
I felt like crying; I loved it
I loved it
I loved it; so sour
I felt like crying; I loved it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think these are self explanatory. Why do I feel so depressed today.

Work of a Friend

One Moment, One Person

By Abigail Zandevakili

There'll always be a moment,
that one moment,
where nothing else matters in the world
because a person you're with,
that one person,
is all you're thinking about,
all you care about,
and that one moment
with that one person
pushes all those fears
and weaknesses
and troubles
out the door,
and makes you forget
all the wrong in life
because that one moment,
that one person,
is right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what is about Abigail, but for some reason. I just feel like... I don't know. It's as if, all the feelings I've ever wanted to say, she was able to do.

TA: Prom

Last night, I had an interesting intrapersonal thought conversation with myself... Obviously. The topic was the Senior year dance. You might be, that's way too early. But the last time I had this conversation was three years ago during freshmen year, so if you want to complain, complain about that one.

So Prom is "the" Senior Dance. There are no other ones, as least here in Plano, cause technically Homecoming is considered the Junior Dance. And from my observations, from my out-of-county friends, Collin County seems to be the only county where the Prom is a super big deal. My friends in Montana have already gone to Prom their freshmen year, so when I talk to them about Prom they say it's not that big.

Anywho 3 years ago my Prom plan was as such: I'm going to ask Beryl to the Prom. So far it's been Rock Solid. For the past 3 years she has been the only person that I would ever even think about asking to Prom. But only last night, did I think about the other person that I would ask. The part that sucks is, that I probably won't be able to get either, for different reasons.

This would be the part where I'd talk about why I'd ask Beryl, but ya'll have see too much of my writing being about her. So, this time you'll get to hear about this other one...

I lied... You don't get to hear about her now. You'll have to come back later :P

TA: A Question of Cataclysmic Proportions... Maybe XD (Music Related)

Music is my life. Before I picked up my first instrument ever, I would listen to Radio Disney... Non Stop. For Zeus's Sake, I even mentioned how vital Music is to the human spirit in my 2nd Vice President Campaign speech for TSJCL
FaceBook: http://tinyurl.com/lqwuwk
Youtube: http://tinyurl.com/mhygqf
I even whipped out my flute to play. I tried to promote music there.

In 5th grade, on top of the music class we already took. We had to learn to play the Recorder. The Recorder was amazing, it's like a Flute (Clarinet Style) XD. And, I had soo much fun learning it. In fact, I still have my recorder, and play it every now and then. Recently, I learned that they took that out of the Elementary Curriculum, and that made me annoyed. Why would they do that? I mean sure, it cost like what? 40-60 Bucks for the Recorder, but I thought it was totally worth it. I mean just ask anyone, who learned it in 5th Grade.

Then there was that Middle School Visit, where members of the Band/Choir/Orchestra came to talk about each of their groups. And I remember signing up for Band. And on the sheet, it said to list 5 instruments you'd like to play, 1 being Most, 5 Being Least. I literally put Flute for all 5. Like I had that instrument in my mind already. Why? Because. My Favorite Movie. Is The Lion King. And the melody is played by the flute family, and I just remember thinking it was the beautifulest sound I had ever heard. Just like the Timpani part in "Can You Feel The Love Tonight"

And then came The Instrument Tryout days, where we officially "Pick" our instruments. I remember, Mrs. Haas, well the flute instructor and Mrs. Smith, One of the Best Flute Players that I've had the pleasure to direct me in 7th Grade, told me, that my lips were not meant for the flute. Cause every now and then, the raindrop "forms" which means that when I blow air, it'll split into two air streams. But you know what? That doesn't stop me at all. I still picked the flute, despite Mrs. Haas's um... Opinion, and I'm quite a good player. I mean sure if you look at all my band years.

• Top Band 6th Grade


• Symphonic 7th


• Concert Maroon 8th


• Concert 2 9th


• Concert 1 10th


• Symphonic 11th


• Symphonic 12th

You'd think, oh you're not a very good flute player, but, I'm in the bands I want to be in because of Personal Choice. Like if I was to make it into the most prestigious band ever, like say the London Symphony, and it didn't feel right to me. I'd probably quit. I'm not saying their bad or anything, I really like them, but it's to prove my point. I'm in the band I'm in, cause I chose to, none of that skill level nonsense. And preferably, I'd like 5th Chair as well. I mean sure first chair gets all the solo's. But I can win the part to any Solo in my own right.

I personally do thing, because I want to. I was in Concert 2, and everyone from the higher bands would always look down at us and say why we're even in band... Well not all of them, but some did. And you know what? I told them it's cause I like Concert 2. No Question about it, I really enjoyed Concert 2... And it's not cause I was first chair all the time, but, I got to see myself grow as a musician. I personally believe that it's hard to measure your growth once you're at the top. That's just me. I mean yeah, I'm envious of the higher bands cause they get to play the music, but it's not like I can't get a copy to practice. Like the Wind Ensemble Jasper Piece, Vesuvius. I got a copy of that to play. But the best part about Concert 2 are the people. Yeah, they know they're not as good as any of the other players of their instruments, but they know that. Admit that, and work really really hard to improve themselves. It's that kinda thing that makes me happy inside.

Side Note, you shoulda seen me after the Spring Band Results were up in my Sophomore year. Ask anyone who was there, even the directors, and they'd tell you. I broke down. Right then and there, I just yelled and fell to the ground. It wasn't happyness that I got into Concert 1, cause if I wanted to I could. It was the fact that I got out of Concert 2. Like you don't understand, I went into my audition, playing half as good as I should've to try to stay in Concert 2. But, it wasn't soo bad. New memories, but I still prefer'd Concert 2 :P

But my musical experience doesn't end with the Concert Flute. I've had the pleasure of learn, the many types of flutes. But I've also learn'd the Trumpet, Guitar, Bass, Tuba, and Violin albeit I need more practice in them, but I learn'd.

I've also had the honor to play with the Full Orchestra, Chamber and Strings, in their final concert. I enjoyed it a lot, even though I was out of tune for like 2 of the 10 notes I played, but it was good. It was fun and an experience. While watching the Orchestra play, I remember'd something. The reason I enjoyed music so much was because of the energy and emotion you feel from the people who play it. And although you can see that in band, I felt that it was easier to see in the Orchestra. Every stroke, pluck, and whatever else they do, were in synchrony. And my favorite part, is when all the sections divide up. Watching the bow's move in all directions just made me feel at peace. Plus I kinda stared in Awe... Thankfully I was in the way back, so no one could see my little bit of drool :P The directors are great musicians themselves. Mrs. Mabel, the assistant is a previous student under Mrs. Wallace. And I hope next year, I have the chance to join them again. Be it as a flute, guitarist, bassist, or a guest violinist.

I say Guest Violinist, because I'm gonna be starting that back up. Well, it's gonna be a little while. I'm currently planning to make a violin of my own. And that violin will be the one I start again on.

But here comes the bad part. Band. It just takes up to much time... TOO MUCH TIME. Like this summer, although my fault as well, I have zero summer time. Right after Summer School is out. I have Band Related Camps, and then real band camp all August. Yay. And I'm also in Drumline, cause you know I wanted to try something new. Plus, I just didn't really want to march this year. Funny though, it'd be the first year I would be able to march eligible in the flute section.

1. I was in the Saxophone Section cause they needed a spot filled.


2. I was in the Trumpets cause they also needed the spot filled.


3. I was in the flutes yay! But ineligible cause of transfer, so my shadow was a trumpet.


4. This year, I'm a Pit member, and to be honest, it was a fallback for not making Drum Major.

But this is my Senior year. I want to stay a part of band, but I want to try other things. Like have time to pick up the Violin again. And I really really really, want to be in a Theatre Production. The only reasons why I can't, are because of band. Band takes up too much afternoon time. Not to mention that, my mornings are taken up with PALs work since Band works in the Afternoon. It's not really band the problem. It's Marching Band. If I could get rid of that I would.

And to be honest, I don't like football. I really don't. The only reason why I would go to a football game willingly, is to watch my brother play. And I don't even do that... Why? Cause of Band. By the time Band Rehearsal is over, packing up and making sure the room is clean, and I get over to the stadium my brother is play at. His game is already over. And. I know it'd mean the whole world to him, if I came to one of his games, and wasn't busy and rushing. I only tolerate football during marching season because of music. I'm really only there to play music and hype the crowd up. Other than that, I find it pointless.

The main thing to get from the 3 paragraphs above is that, I want to try new things.

And the question is:

Should I quit Band?

Like I said Music is my life. And it's not like I would completely stop playing my instruments if I quit. I have other goals I want to complete before my senior year ends, one being making it into a Theatre Productions.

Plus I won't be completely gone from band. I'll always volunteer to help out at any event, at either Jasper or PWSH, or even PSHS if I have the time.

I think that's enough writing.

The question: Should I quit band?

The Awesomeness that is the PWSH Band

P.S. - Sorry about the Really's

Summer Films

Summer Movies!

Full Script will be given to those who join in.

Windex Commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=378SsDShA3Y&feature=related

There is a sample Windex commercial in case you guys didn't know.

So I need some people for various things.

Windex Cleaner - Taylor Wilson
Guy - Drew Cochran

I need someone with a Pet Bunny.
Someone who has a house with a slide patio door, such as the one in the video above.

Those who sign up will get a copy of what the commercial will be.

Pokemon Semi-Live Action

I know what ya'll are thinking but you'll like it.

Possibly a series if it's popular. Loosely based on one of the 4 Game Generations. We'll be making our own storyline and name. :)

Trailer
- Title Flashes
- Professor Voice Over of Speech
- Clips of the Journey
- Flashes of 8 Gym Leaders
- Ends with the Rival and Player starting the battle

Episode 1
- The Professor's Speech
- Intro to Player
- Getting Pokemon
- Travel to PokeMart
- Rival Battle

Rough Timeline for the 1st Episode.

Requirements - You need to have a DS and a copy of Pokemon Diamond, Pearl, or Platinum or be able to get your hand on one.

Settings will be places around Plano, so don't worry, Not that much traveling.

Characters for Trailer and Episode 1
Professor -
Player -
Player's Mom -
Rival -
PokeMart Owner -
Gym Leader 1 -
Gym Leader 2 -
Gym Leader 3 -
Gym Leader 4 -
Gym Leader 5 -
Gym Leader 6 -
Gym Leader 7 -
Gym Leader 8 -

Star Wars Battle

I know I said only two. But A Star Wars Battle is going to take a long time. So I'm just telling ya'll we'll be doing it.

We're making our own lightsabers, so those who want in, need to know soon so we can build. Need some rotoscopers as well, I can't do it all by myself.

OW: Ticking of the Clock

Two Part... I don't know what it is, it just has to parts.

There. (Tic-kuh Toh----)

In the midst of the rushing crowd of obnoxious high schoolers, he caught a glimpse of her, strawberry blonde hair billowing with the passing wind, blue floral theme dress flowing behind her as she makes her way through a dull blob, her equally theme'd backpack shines through even after being engulfed by the mass, there in lies a brief moment in time, where she crosses his path, and the world slowed down, just enough for their eyes to meet, and in just a sliver of a millisecond, his existence to her was no more...
He stood there as his life walked away.

Still There. (Tick Tock)

Streams of red and blue zip by. Yellow Bow. Orange Signs. Black Suits. Pink Shoes. Green Shirt. White Wall. Brown Car. He is chasing after a memory. He can't exactly remember. His past- fireworks blurring his head. He bumps into something pink/blue in his daze. He notices a smile from the red/yellow head. She grabs his hand and pulls him along...
He smiles as the colors begin to settle.


Ugh... Thats not how I originally wrote the second part. but I don't know. Maybe it'll make more sense if I put the original on here.

He runs through the street. That hustle and bustles with life. Chasing after a girl. He knows her by her dark blonder hair in the crowd of playful colors. A gust appears. Her pink dress stuck to her skin. As time passes he gets closer. His hand grabs her. He stared into her eyes. A smile formed on her lips.
He stood there, smiling as his life came back.

I still kept the main theme for the second half, so I'm quite proud. I myself was getting a headache while writing it.

I don't know what made me write it... but I did. And I find them to be unique, in how they are written.

OW: Seems that I always play the nice guy

Some of you might be confused as to what that means.

Well per say

There's this girl
I've liked her since sophmore year
I didn't have the guts to tell her
So my best friend does

She says that we're like brother and sister
I say that works (as long as I got to spend time with her)
I find out my best friend likes her
Therefore, I hope that it works out for the both of them

Turns out, they did get together.
I felt hurt, but
I was happy
Since I so happen to value someone else's happyness over mine.

Suddenly a problem arose
I transferred to a different school because I knew I would get between them
I love her, with all my heart.
Then they broke up

I would give anything to be with her now
She was the first person I asked to homecoming
She declined saying it wasn't her thing
But thats okay, because we didn't like homecoming

By some connection I knew someone else liked her
Someone I knew
Someone who has strong feelings for her
I finally learn today who it is

Impossible it is for me to see him hurt
So I give him the okay
Since he didn't want to ask someone out when he knows someone else does
But unbeknownst to him, I lied

Because... it
Seems that I always have to play the nice guy
So I sit here wishing that it works out
I wait... because thats all I'm good at.

I'll wait forever if thats what it takes to be with her.


WELL I'm quite sad aren't i?

AM: Recovering Heart

Anyone who's read this knows by now that I haven't asked anyone out because of a promise I made.

And this promise is as stated
"I promise to only ask one girl to be my girlfriend."

Dumb Promise huh?

Well I don't think it is because I've followed it for a long time now.

But I seem to have found two loopholes

Says I can't ask, so if they ask, I am allowed to say yes.
or
I could always ask them to marry me C:

well I guess thats all I have.