I don't feel Hopeless anymore.

*takes in a big breath in through the nose* Ahhh. *Relieving Sigh through Mouth*

What could be so relieving you ask? Well for one, this dude right here just evolved from a Hopeless Romantic to a Hopeful Romantic.

(:

I just feel like I can wait. Like with each new relationship, I feel like I can go from Acquaintance, Friend, Best Friends, Lovers.

Which is a rather nice change of pace than my former 'sadistic' view. It used to be that with each potential person I would hope and hope that it would last and everything and that I don't screw it up by overdoing something... which I have on many occasion.

But now I don't really think that way... I mean sure I'll sometimes over-analyze something such as a horrible voice-mail that I left today and then freak out about it going back to my old habit of thinking of the negatives but now I can calmly and with some haste get over that and go back to thinking on the bright side... It's only one voice mail where I make a lot of pauses and stumble through my words but there will be plenty of those... I'll just get better with each call.

And besides I think this person will understand. She is pretty impressive and amazing. Without getting into too much detail... I was captivated by her within the first ten minutes of meeting her. And I think that's all I'll put on this... I don't think it would do her justice if I just spilled everything on the net... And besides it's way easier for me to convey it in person.

Something to think about...

I don't know how many of you know this but I'm student observing this semester which means that I'm a TA pretty much. Between Teacher Assistant and a Student Teacher.

So today in my 9th grade English class, the students had to find a quote that they thought was significant  from "Romeo and Juliet." It was somehow tied into a romantic theme since today is Valentine's Day but I'm not too sure on that... They had to write it on a piece of paper with a heart on it and tape it to the board.

Anywho, the teacher suggested that I participated... Frankly, I didn't think I would find one just because I didn't have fond memories or reading through the play. But somehow, maybe through "elderly wisdom", I enjoy reading through it again. That's not to say that I sat and skimmed through all the acts. I did not. I just opened the book to Act V Scene I and I found what I wanted. Here are the lines courtesy of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare at MIT.

ROMEO
If I may trust the flattering truth of sleep,
My dreams presage some joyful news at hand:
My bosom's lord sits lightly in his throne;
And all this day an unaccustom'd spirit
Lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts.
I dreamt my lady came and found me dead--
Strange dream, that gives a dead man leave
to think!--
And breathed such life with kisses in my lips,
That I revived, and was an emperor.
Ah me! how sweet is love itself possess'd,
When but love's shadows are so rich in joy!


It hit me in a way. It's a quote on love but at the same time about the oft dreamy illusions of love. For me, it made me think about how the thought of having love that way can change you, in ways you didn't think before.


A bit unfinished, maybe I'll get back to it.